Wednesday, May 24, 2006

QBQ, part 3

In the previous post, I said that I would be reviewing "QBQ: The Question Behind the Question" by John G. Miller and this is the second of the series.

Looking at the previous post, I tried to explain why to ask questions starting with "What" and "How" and contain the word "I". Asking questions with these words changes your thinking from reactive to proactive and pushes you to be in control. Self-responsibility is a choice that once repeated becomes habit that eventually becomes a positive character trait.

I want to explain why the other questions are so negative.

Questions that begin with "Why" have a natural tendency to express victimhood.

Why does this happen to me?
Why can't I win?
Why won't my boss give me a raise?

The initial question sounds like an inquiry for understanding, but look again. Each indicates that someone other than yourself is in control of the situation. Some circumstances are beyond your control, however your response is up to you and only you. Understanding the reason behind how situations develop is key to finding a solution, but approaching the problem should start with "What can I do to improve the situation?"

"Why?" by itself put you into "victim mode." Don't be a victim today. Begin to address your problems by asking the right questions-- "What" or "How" containing "I". You are in control. Take it and run with it.

Next time, "Who".

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